optimistic

i drove by a shitty car yesterday and felt alot better about my situation
thats terrible.

-saturday, had river party with andy, johnny, and matthew
-skovar and strawberry white zin
-went to the red barn
-danced around all cuhhhrazy
-stole drinks of lauren's free drink
-met some sophisticated dude
-hung out with everyone
-asked david if he sold glass to piss him off
-saved megan from this scary guy by telling him we were lesbians
-saw everyone i knew
-slapped some asses
-bathroom parties
-talking to the door guy and him tellin me to add
his band and how to fix my car's muffler ha

-sunday, bk with johnny
-river party UHGAIN
-took our blood pressure 46546546 times
-skovar handle #2 of the weekend
-i love red amp!
-met up with andy and matthew
-matthew, johnny, and andy copied los campesinos




-went to see wall-E, best movie everrrr
-"WALL-EEE" ..."Evaaaaa"
-andy bought popcorn and we all mooched
-went to victor's
-we had dance party2008
-vodka and orangeade is the new black
-me and lauren gave eachother lap dances
-me and victor paraded around in moo moos
-"i only have 2 moo moos."
-we had photoshoot and attempted to have a collaborative painting
-we didnt get around to it ha
-me and lauren sat on the sidewalk and chatted
-went home

hellaaa shitty

wed, thurs, fri is sort of a blur
some dumb chicken fucker busted my car window and stole my stereo and ipod
it does sorta make me wanna kill myself when i drive around in silence and part of my window breaks off a little more everytime i close the door. But i have to be greatful that those assholes didnt harm me or anyone else. AAANYWAY ive been in a quiet mood lately. I can't help it. I'm just really pensive and stressed constantly. Its totally not like me. I'm a mellow person, it weirds me out.

Friday night was ignition show. i hated andy and walked out on his show
we started up the "andy sucks" chant. EVERYONE was in it. I felt bad but it was way funny and it was all out of good fun. We went down to JD's landing and had a ghettoass margarita for 6 bucks a piece. the bartender was an idiot. went back to ignition hung out with strangers and took pics. Drove back to PD and me, lauren, carlos, and linda sang selena at the top of our lungs. Went over to the UN house. it was chill. Wonder how tonight will turn. We'll probably end up at the red barn.

dsghkjs

MONDAY
-didnt leave my house :]

TUESDAY
-hung out with lauren
-had a cran and vodka
-made music
-went to carlos'
-la cadena
-we all took shots
-me. lauren, and carlos went swimming in boxers and a shirt
-me and lauren devised a plan for me to marry rich and get us plastic surgery
-me and carlos had a mini photoshoot
-went to the UN house
-me and victor shared a blue lollipop and split up the gum at the end haha
-me and robbie made ugly faces at eachother
-i hung out with cats and one of them jumped out of a high window!
-we all talked about movies
-i stole eddddgarrr's hat and wore it
-edgarrrr admitted he hated me cause i gave him the wrong name back when i was in high school and there were shows at olympia hah
-dropped carlos off and went homee
-had a drunk conversation with my mom and when she asked why i smelled like alcohol, i said "mom! i always smell that way!" and continued my story hahaha

Strawberry Zin weekend

updates

Lemon cleanse lasted til thursday, where did my willpower go?
i had 2 slices of pizza and got drunk
i lost a good 6 pounds though

-walmart party with carlos, bolin, johnny, and andy [i was sober!]
-next night jeremy's place, an interesting outing?
-i recorded videos of us gestering BJ's
-bolin kinda just didnt contribute to the video at all ha
-wilber guarded his snickers candy bar like a knight
-friday went to Matt's show party
-Eddddgarrr, victor was funny
he wore a coral blazer unbottoned with no shirt
-I fell back in love with abey
-we had dance party. wilber was my partner and carlos was lauren's
-i hung out with CJ!
-we drank strawberry zin and took myspace pics like weirdos
-left austin a very drunk voicemail ha
-saturday night, went to dannys 21st party
-ive come to realize this is a good year
cause everyone is turning 21 and theres been partys up the wazooo
-saw my BFF chris, we need BFF charms already!
-hung out with oscar and hoarded the pizza and breadsticks
-me and janelle laughed at her coconut rum apparently "the taste is REAL"
-went to circle K bought chips, i was bummed cause i added too much cheese
-Met up with andy at the park
-all three of us sharaded sexual positions haha
-andy licked my hand GROSSSS
-we wrestled andy, he won
-we used the grass like napkins
-i sprayed my smart water all over andy
-he tried to walk home to try and walk off the alcohol
but something tells me a 20 sec walk wasnt gonna do it
plus WHAT IF HE GOT MUGGED!!
-me and lauren went back to her house and lurked it up on myspace
-then passed out
-Sunday i went to hollywood with lynne, her boyfriend, andy
-went to BK
-we bought like 3 thousand chasers and drank at amoeba
-bought 4 movies i never even saw before, im broke now!
-walked down sunset
-saw a man dancing in a window with a speedo
-went to american apparel, shmoozed the manager
-hung out with fake movie characters
-took a picture of jamie foxx and john ritter's star. I LOVE THEM!
-ate jalapeno chips
-went homeeee

wayward weekend

THE TRUE SCARY STORY

I was having a dream about being in a park with friends. I woke up, opened my eyes, began to feel 2 hands pressing down on me. I could not breathe, i was in a definite state of panic. The room began to turn upside down, faster and faster, the room would spin. My eyes open the whole time, I began to hear a deep voice. I could not make out the words, nor do I know for sure it was english. This continued for a few minutes. Finally, i was back on my bed right-side up and the pressure jerked away. My room became unbearably cold, take in to consideration that my room is the hottest room in the whole house and it is summer. I got the chills all over my body. I was lying there paralyzed not sure what to make of the whole situation. I finally mustered the strength to get up and leave the room. I have never been in such a state. I do not believe in god or the devil. I do not understand the whole situation, however i know for a fact it wasn't a dream, i never once closed my eyes. Completely sober, completely awake.

Next day...
-slept during the day
-family BBQ
-watched the lakers game at beer hunter
-trillion instant replays of kobe's dunk
-strawberry margarita
-walmart party
-watched daria at andy's house
-drove andys car to my house
-he passed out for like an hour outside my house
haha
-the light got shut off for maintenence reasons from 10PM to 6AM
we were frying our asses off. i dint sleep once again :(
-woke up for work at 8

My blogs are going downhill. yuck
plus im on a cleansing fast for 14 days so i wont be having H 3 0 encounters
LAME

staying in on a saturday?

during the course of a few days i have,

-gone to the movies with wilber and andy to see kung fu panda
-skovar party
-show in palm springs
-emotional outbreaks with carlos and lauren
-skovar
-stealing toms brass monkey
-met up with andy, tom, and austin
-JD's landing carlos hooking us up with maragaritas
-drunk dialing brandon
-a couple more people met up
-walking down the strip
-drunk dialing alan
-arguing with andres
-getting jack in the box
-somehow spilling buffalo sauce down my window
-carlos talking to a bum and me and lauren not even being phased
-drunk billion hour phone conversation with andy


and now i am looking at scholarships, apartments, and furniture

everyday is the same?

-worked
-napped
-dinner chimichanga
-carlos'
-UH spark
-hung out with carlos andy and bolin
-expediaed flights
-amtraked train rides
-good life talks with carlos
-went home

shitty vs. real

let the filtering of friends begin

hmmmm

MONDAY
-tennis match
-sober parking lot parties
-small dogs
-matthew in short PE shorts
-enormous bugs
-carlos' place & red cups ith H2O!!
-midnight chimichanga

TUESDAY
-applied to 2 schools
-corys house
-islands
-too much food
-strawberry margarita
-NEVER getting carded!!
-walk to toys r us
-photoshoot/playing


-melting outside
-target
-TJ's bbq/ big reunion :]
-ryan in boxer briefs
-making me uncomfortable haha
-cory loses pants
-cory finds pants
-"liz hands out HJs like lollipops at a dr's office"
-woo prestige and spicy assorted chips
-neils with andy cory and lauren
-stopping men from bathroom wars
-stealing andy's beer
-midnight chimichanga

deep breaths

okay im stressed, like really really stressed. I'm trying to book a flight to seattle at the end of july. Everything has started to hit me. I can't breathe right. i decided to go to central seattle community college instead of south. Its pretty much in downtown seattle so its going to be extremely expensive. My mom wants me to move out a whole month before so i can get settled in and be able to focus when fall semester starts. Since school starts september 22nd, that means id move out late august. SHYITT thats soon and all i have is dishes and a blender!

IM WORRIED THAT...

-i wont be able to find a job
-i'm going to be totally lost for a while
-that i wont do well in school
-that i'll be alone
-i wont be able to take the weather
-nostalgia will kill me

BUT I'M HYPED THAT...

-I'll finally be somewhere else
-I'll grow up alot being that my parents wont be there
-I'll be getting closer to a career i actually wanna have
-I'll meet new people
-I'll be surrounded by an amazing music scene
-I'll hang out with alan in canada
-I'll always get rain
-my atmosphere will be completely opposite


okay i feel better now

birthday hi lights

PRE-BIRTHDAY

-river party with lauren, carlos, and andy
-turned 21 at midnight, went to napas
-me and lauren stole ordering notebooks and a shot glass
-seth bought me a birthday margarita
-i took a straight shot of jack with no chaser
-matthew, jess, and vanessa joined us
-went home, stood on my parents bed and made them wake up to take a shot with me
-we all had a shot of casadores tequila, theyre my heros!!

BIRTHDAY

-woke up, went to the gas station with michael
-we bought a 40 and orange juice
-dropped him off then went swimming
-fought wasps
-saw a bee swimming
-took a shower and passed out
-me and lauren went to olive garden
-had margaritas, they didnt even card meeee
-everyone and their mother, i drank my life away
-billy monster hung out
-drank more
THE FOLLOWING EVENTS ARE NOT REMEMBERED

-i had a topless party with myself haha
-played some mad ping pong
-kicked people out for whatever reason
-jumped in the pool fully clothed
-passed out

POST-BIRTHDAY

-hung out with johnny and andy
-found my heel in the middle of the street
-bought a handle and orange soda at about ten AM
-my brother found the other heel over the wall by the mall haha
-had a mini mall party
-had a killer something vague jam session
-picked up bolin and lynne and drove to yucca for a show
-nachos, pizza, and beer
-got free birthday beers
-had a heart to heart with chris cross
-linda came, we drank, she wanted to hook me up with some bro haha
-it was a really good show!
-went home

June 4th

A pretty solid day

-day off
-carlos and andy dropped me off at 5 am
-andy picked me up at 11 am
-went to his house, had brass monkeys for breakfast
-i made him some good ass breakfast burritos
-cut his hair
-bought la cadena vodka, chips galore, and capri sun, its the new chaser only $2.49 for a ten pack!
-we made bbq and salsa verde chip sandwiches
-i broke my fast after 4 days :(
-drank and had indio fashion mall party with johnny
-mexican candy <3
today i ate my first legit meal, chilli cheese fries from carls jr
-im going on the maple syrup lemon cayanne pepper water diet 2 days after my birthday. Which means no drinking alcohol or eating for ten whole days!!
-the supplies to be on it cost me 17 bucksss AYE
-ANYWAY, played doubles tennis with lauren, carlos, and matthew, soo fun
-i'm def the worst player, running isnt my thing
-we did cart wheels in the park after and back flips and all had sex talk
-headed to carlos' jacky and andy met up we all had vodka and dole
[another handle, handled]
-drove by caroline on accident then went in to her goodbye party
-met people, saw lizards
-eric and caroline drunk and dramatically tried to get me not to drive so i ran to my car and drove off hahah
-it was a marvelous wednesday :]

current song: "Go Ahead"

-worked
-napped
-carlos' house with andy
-blurry night
-sang a little elliot smith
-drank citron, it was okay
-i wanna be a professional alcohol reviewer
no school needed
-i passed out in a doorway? hmm
-i guess "duh" was the word of the night.
-the fast is going well, i feel okay, shakey but
im keeping very hydrated :]
-me, lauren, andy, and carlos are gonna play tennis today. im hyped
-i get paid tomorrow, im gonna buy margarita supplies
-im almost 21
-i cant stop listening to this song.

maybe i should invest in taking over the whore life style

-last night was weird, im not over it
-me and lauren serenaded people at the party
-i feel like throwing up
-jaeger bombs, vodka, beer
-got pulled into the pool with my clothes on
-parent talk with tom
-made a cool ten year old friend, dria is chill as hell
-i love cats
-i hate people that are too much like me
-late night skinny dip, scandeloso
-pretty sure andy saw me naked, not to mention everyone else even though i was convinced it was way dark
-I havent's been negative in a while but... i've decided im gonna start being fake and not let my guard down (not that i do already) im so sick of this place. I have to stop drinking so much, its rediculous. I'm sick of my life style. I'm so sick of meeting the same people in different bodies.
-i wanna move now
-im fasting til im 21
-i hate my weight
-my palm centro is donezo, whateva im over it [kinda]
-i miss people
-i want more constants
-im not having a good day, incase that wasn't obvious
-if i got pregnant, id surely hoover that shit out and dump it on his lawn
-ha ok, now that thats out, i feel better, for real :]
-plus this lady gave me 20 buucks for finding her diamond earing
-&& my birthdays in 4 days, i cant wait for bars and gnarly old men
-i want a margarita
-plus i got a new blender

ugh

the only thing keeping me up right now is my dire need to say happy birthday to tom ha

interesting night, tonight

-i had lots of inspirado today, i wrote 2 new soongs on keyboard
-hung out with lauren
-dropped half a bottle of orange soda in my purse in an attempt to escape the cops
-saw the strangers movie, it was awesome
-johnny measled 3 free movie tickets out of the river for my chair being kicked
-one of those tickets better have my name on it
-turned everyone against andy
-went to cheesecake factory
-decided burger king was betterrrr and cheaper
-all 8 of us bailed
-me andy lauren and johnny headed over to BK
-they closed a whole hour early but johnny threatened to sue so we all bought chicken fries and ate them on the curb outside
-i spilled my sprite behind the counter and as they were in the back johnny and i frantically grabbed towels and cleaned up the mess i made
-we're smooth
-im clumsy :]
-i love how big of a con johnny is <3
-i hate mind games alot, i wish i could bring myself to stop playing them but i simply cant be made a fool :[
-tonight was fun, tomorrows my day off, okay, its tom's 25th birthday!!
-were drinking all day when we wake up
-so its like any other day basically but coooler
i wanna make cool cupcakes like this!!

Last day of May!

-worked
-napped
-went to the way good beach side cafe show
-i was inebriated, BIG surprise
-i like seeing everyone
-went to vons with matthew, bought red bull and plain goldfishes
i regretted it cause the cheese ones are better.
Matthew dumped the fishes into my cheez it box,
truely assuming that the fishes would take on the cheese flavor
...hahah
-we went back to the show
-i went to my car and took a 30 minute "nap"
-woke up ready to party
-del taco party
-went to shannons
-bought beer and mojitos
-everyone pawned off their wine to me
-drank a mojito with tom
-life talks with rusty, tom and his friend
-shannon pulled me around in a wagon and we pretended it was a tour ride
-left, hung out with matthew